September 10th, 2008

Today we go in for some x-ray work. Dad will be having an abdominal CT. This test is done with and without contrast over about 45 minutes. Bad part for dad is that he will have to lay flat during the test. He usually does not do very well laying flat on his back for long periods of time. I, of course, will be there in the tube with him holding his hand. We hope that this exam will further shed light on what is really going on.

Other then the test today it should go fairly well. I know that dad is a little up tight over the whole deal but he is handling it very well.

September 6th, 2008

Well let me just tell you what a wonderful day my sweet father had. Looks like we are making some great efforts in the ways of making him ready for quartzsite. On wed this week we will have a few more tests and follow up appointments later this month but the rest is looking good. He was feeling pretty energized today. He took himself to breakfast, the store, and even a garage sale.

I guess mom's brother Butch died sometime this week. Many had problems with him but he was always good to me.

As for me I had a mom dream. I think she was trying to say something to me but I do not know what.

September 1st, 2008

Well the future is still a little uncertain for my fathers plans for Quartzsite. He is planning on returning to the city of dust and dentures sometime late September early October. This plan of course is based on how he is feeling and doing without the aide of his number one nurse. Last few days have been questionable in the belly department on whether or not we are looking at a new ulcer issue or some sort of new development. With his concern it increased his anxiety which just compiles our problems. I know he wants more than anything to return to Q to see his friends and what not but it may have to be a week here or there with me just to keep him on track.

Hope everyone out there is doing well and love ya all.

August 30th, 2008

Dad is doing well. We worked on getting the laundry and house put together through the evening. He seems to be hanging tight and maintaining a even keel at this time. He did pool therapy today as well as walked to the mail box. He says that he will be walking more in Quartzsite but we shall see.

August 28th, 2008

Well Irene brought down dad's car yesterday. It was time for dad to start leaving the house once in a while and get out for a morning doughnut or something. Well it worked because he went to the store close to the house and did some of his shopping. It went well and he didn't even get lost in the big city. It's good to see him get out and move about. So far the last couple days are good and today was no different. I hope this trend keeps up. He wants to head back to Quartzsite in October so we will have to see.

Dad wants to thank everyone for the e-mails and well wishes. Take care everyone.

August 25th, 2008

Well dad was having a great day today until the weather changed a little bit. He was in the pool having a good time and an Arizona monsoon hit the yard with wind and what not and so ended the pool play. He was more upset that it entered his pool time then anything. It was really good that he feels well enough to get in and out of the pool with little or no help. Also it seems that it has improved his joints and there function.

I'm on the the tail end of a six day run at work. Sleeping not as well as I would like and looking forward to a few days off.

August 24, 2008

Well after a week of getting dad lined out a little better I can finally get the rest of the world caught up on the who and the what. Last week had a lot of ups and some very steep downs but with a little change in mind set and a few new methods for keeping cleaned out, I am happy to report that dad seems to be having a good day today. He was a little shaky this morning when I offered some new insight to his feeling good and thought we should try to help him a little more with some new pain techniques. But as most of you know, my father is not really a big fan of change. So at this time my father will just keep with the current plan and shoot for returning to Quartzsite in October. He will still return to my place every other week to help keep him on the same track. He also has realized that walking and getting up and doing something other than sleeping is much better than just laying around. (That is why the pool is working so well for him.)

Little side note, sorry to all those who have been looking for updates and getting nothing. Just been a little busy with a few items. Like the publishing of my new book. Yeah me.

August 13th, 2008

Well the much awaited GI doctors' appointment was really what I expected. Dad met with the new doctor and made up his mind right then and there. He has chose to just wait and see if he can keep doing as well as he has been. The doctor wanted to have tests, blood work, and a butt scope right away. When he warned dad the there is the possibility of tearing his bowel and forcing him to have a crap bag for the rest of his life, well that interview was over. (For the record, the doctor has to inform dad of the potential for complications and the odds of that actually happening are very slim). But that information was enough for dad to go right over the edge. He feels really good lately. I don't know if it's the overall plan or the great care he is getting (toot my own horn a bit) but what ever it is, the pain is getting less and the smiles are getting bigger. The pool has helped tons and the good food being made doesn't hurt either. Today I realized that dad is still very much the man I have always admired. The man that stands firm in what he believes in. And right now he believes in his son.

With great pride and honor I accept the challenge.

August 12, 2008

Dad has had a few bad days this past week and we are hoping that is not a trend of things to come. He seems to be having a bit of an up swing right now and we will ride that wave as long as we can. On the thirteenth we have some more follow up and consult appointments with the hope of a new game plan. The decrease in morning coffee has seem to help a lot of the morning pain. But he misses it dearly.

Finished my return to work today and it wasn't too bad. The people I work with are very helpful and understand whats going on. Thank god.

August 10th, 2008

This morning I realized that dad is very in tune to all his surroundings. Which is a good, heart felt thing to be, but it can also cause some panic. He picks up on how people are feeling; sad, happy, excited, whatever. The problem is that when things appear to be bad he takes a turn for the worst. I started back to work this last week and they sort of scheduled me a lot of days in a row. These days have made me be away for several hours a day (14 to be exact) and he seems to be effected by that. With great reassurance he is understanding that it has to be done. But I think I am going to have to make some career changes to help him feel better. And who knows it may be good for me as well.

Dad in the Backyard

August 8th, 2008

Well I was watching dad in the pool last night and I have made my mind up. He will be heading to China to compete. Just kidding. He's doing good. This next week we have two more doctors appointments but it doesn't seem to be bothering him. Heck he even has been driving around town a little. Go country boy.

August 7Th, 2008

Dad had a great night last few days with the up and down day. Seems to be that dad's plan for just letting it ride seems to be working well for him. As a medical professional I can only tell you that sometimes medicine doesn't have all the right answers. The human mind has great power. It can often heal the body with just positive vibes. I know, it sounds sort of hoke but you have to believe in something. Dad is doing better and he feels better so it is working for him. If his mind has set him free from this prison then so be it. I really just want his quality of life to be acceptable to him.

I'm doing well, work is great, and blah blah blah. Irene is here to help out. She always works so hard to help us. She starts nursing school at the end of this month. We want her to do great so everyone pray for her.

August 5th, 2008

After the last few days, this post will update and surprise some. For others it will just be another in an obvious Clarke line of things we just do. My father has been known to gamble on occasion with the phrase "let it ride". With that passion at heart my dad has chosen to avoid any extra testing at this time and just see how things go. He has been feeling very good these days and wants to keep the momentum going for as long as he can. With a lack of real desire to seek any excessive treatment anyways this plan has personal merit for him. As long as he feels good he will just keep doing what he is doing in regards to bowel movements and medication. This decision alone has increased his level of activity and put a little spring in his step. Some times the cure for your ills is ignorance. And on a positive note, he has lost 13 pounds with a balanced diet and increased exercises.

August 3rd, 2008

Today is a great day with a slight cloud on the horizon. Dad has had a couple of great nights with good sleep and good eats. This trend has helped him feel a little more up and at them. But with the pending exams tomorrow he has had a couple of small panic attacks today. Nothing that completely erases the good days, but still something that brings him down a little bit. We have a lot more work to do, but he is better today then I have seen him in a long time.

Dad wants me to send out his love to all of those who have supported him and sent him e-mails of support. Also to those that have called him and checked up on him. He can't thank you enough for all the prayers and words of encouragement. I read him the e-mails and messages and he just can't believe this Internet thing. But he likes having people checking in on him.

And for those that have a little concern on how little Earl is doing, well I'm a survivor. Its what I do.

August 1st, 2008

The doctors appointment today yielded much more promising results. That is to say that we now have a plan of attack. On Monday dad will go in for some tests to see what and where the cancer is and how extensive of treatment we will be looking at. He felt a little better having some plan. He was also glad that the doctor had a small index finger. Ha Ha Ha. The appointment was late in the day today so we went afterwards to the hardware store and had a good lunch. (A hot dog and a soda.) We returned home late in the afternoon and both of us had a nap. He had one for being up since 4 am and I had one so I could go to work tonight.

All in all he had a good day. His mind is starting to settle down a little with more answers than questions.

July 31, 2008

Well we found the way to a good night sleep for dad; work him. I had him walk around the pool last night sweeping the bottom of the pool and picking out leaves and bugs. He got in with his cigar and walked around for about two hours. This act allowed his mind to turn off for a while and he earned much needed excellent rest. Which considering how the day started was a great relief. He was watching a story on the Today Show about cancer that got him all worried and upset his belly. But after I explained a few of the items it helped, but the mental damage had already been done and the pacing began.

I had a touch of a bug and had to go to bed early last night so it was a long rest night for both of us.

So far today we are just getting ready for tomorrow's appointment. Tracker and dad already got the morning paper and both are ready for a great day.

July 30th, 2008

Sorry about the last couple of days and lack of information. Sometimes we get a little busy around here with doctors appointments and what nots. Dad had a really bad Sunday and Monday night. Lots of built up nervous energy I think about the upcoming appointments. He Did get some help from Show Low and Irene that made him perk up a little which was good.

The first consult that we went to was on the 29Th with Dr Wang. Hes a general surgeon. After a quick visit with him and a few minutes of exam, he has decided that his speciality isn't really needed at this time but rather he would like dad to see a GI doctor. (belly and bowel doc) That appointment will be the 13Th of August. Dad felt a little better now having met at least one doctor down here and feeling a little more like we are getting the ball rolling some. His pain seem to subside a little too. Friday is our next appointment with the Urinary Doctor and hopefully we will have some treatment options thrown at us. Of course dad still is not real big on a lot of extra attempts at killing this thing.

Little side note to all of you who are offering support and love. We both want to thank you for checking in on us and offering help in many different ways. We Clarke's' are stubborn, pigheaded, and just down right tough to deal with but we thank you with all our hearts. And for me personally I want to thank my friends who have all stepped up and given way more than I probably deserve. And at some point I will need help from all of you. But right now dad and I are just doing our thing and getting by. He likes his independence and I like him to have it. Someday that will not always be the case.

Thank you.

Love, The Clarke's (Big Earl and Little Earl. I still hate that)

July 27th, 2008

Last night was a long one. The evening started out fairly well. We sat outside with a cigar and talked about what we were going to do to the yard in the fall. But as the night progressed it seemed dad just couldn't get settled down. He was up and down most of the night.

Today he's acting like a rat in a cage. Very anxious and having trouble getting comfortable. His head and neck on that one side is really giving him trouble. So much so that its scaring him that the cancer has maybe entered his mind/neck. I was upstairs taking a nap when he called out for me. I came down stairs rubbed some icyhot on the spot and hopefully it will help with the pain. Still two days out for his first doctors appointment. I hope the wait isn't starting to get to him a little bit.

July 26th, 2008

Dad was having a really great day yesterday. So after much consideration, we took a little field trip to the CASINO. And for a man who has periods when he doesn't want to eat, he made short work of a hot dog and piece of cheese cake. We did not win any money but we were gone for about 3 hours and he had a blast. Got home with visions of naps in our heads so we rested a while.

Marie had the day off and he wanted to thank her for all her help so he sent us to the movies. We Went to Batman: The Dark Knight. It was three hours, but it was good. Returned to the house to find father watching TV. He had a good dinner and him and the dog were hanging out.

So far this morning he is having a great day. He's sitting here reading his morning paper.

July 25th 2008

After a long morning of fighting with doctors office people and running around taking care of paperwork, my father was able to take a little time and do some pool fishing. He actually had a really good day. We finally got his pain under control and with a little back rub and some good dinner fixings he had a pretty good night. Walked up the stairs last night twice. Once for a shower and once just for what he called exercises. (It was actually to check on me.) Hoping for a strong weekend so that the appointments next week are not too hard on him. I know his mind wonders a lot and sometimes it gets the best of him. But we Clarke's' are world famous for thinking too much.

I think Monday was hard on him because it was five years ago we lost mom. Always seems to hit him quietly.

July 24th Morning

July 24th, 2008

Long night last night for dad. Lots of pacing and not a lot of sleep. I stayed downstairs with him till 2:30 in the morning. I think that was partly from all the rest he got on Wednesday. He had to rest with his feet up a little bit do to increased swelling. Breathing is good and his blood pressure is wonderful. Still having trouble with some belly pain and his bowel movements are still affected. He's a little more upset this morning than usual. It upsets him when his body isn't doing on well on its own.

Pool therapy went well last night. We walked around inside the pool and killed flies last night. We are not real sure why there was an increased number of the little buggers last night, but it gave us some exercise. One theory is the house next door has been vacant for a while and there was a couple looking at it yesterday. When they opened the door maybe it is full of dead things. It was something to do.

His neck pain responds well to icy hot patches and cream. I believe that pain has to do with him holding his head up when he doses off.

Overall today he feels full, tired, and just uneasy. Hopefully after breakfast with the help of coffee and an enema we will have a better day.

July 14th 2008

Dad had been feeling pretty poorly this spring. So much so that the thought of leaving and going to Oregon for the summer just didn't appeal to him. His stomach pain was every increasing without relief in sight. So we (dad and I) worked out a plan for him to spend the summer in Show Low Arizona. Its closer to my work and I already had a place for him to stay up there. He lasted a few weeks without too much trouble. Then, after several trips to the Emergency Room, he wanted to see a doctor. After much searching for a doctor that accepted his insurance, we found that my doctor could take him. Dad had an appointment with lab work and a few tests but no real answers as to why he was having trouble. So his follow up appointment was for Monday July 14Th. A day full of information and some of it good. We found out that dad's prostrate cancer from years ago was more active then ever and it seems to be spreading rather rapidly throughout his body. So much so that we need to prepare for the worst. With this information in hand, dad felt it would be best (with my subtle hints) to move in with me in the house in Avondale Arizona so that I could work and he could have access to the doctors that he will be needing to help him with this newest challenge. We have set up a little apartment for him in the bottom part of my house and it seems to be helping. He does his pool therapy every night by walking around my pool. We have been managing his pain a little better and he sleeps well. Eating is hit or miss but has greatly improved.

His brother was here for a visit for a few days and it really perked him up. I also had my best friend from Show Low, Irene, here who helped take care of dad for me in Show low. Dad calls her his angel because she was there when he was in the ER. Marie, my partner in crime, set up the house in Avondale with a closet and dresser and also help bring the bed and chair from Quartzsite to the house. It has been a little bit of chaos but as things start to settle it should get better.

We have a surgery consult on July 29Th and a urology consult on August 1st. Hopefully then we will have a plan.

If you have any questions or want to send dad well wishes, e-mail me here or post a comment.